How do you teach lying to your children?This guidance is more useful than abuse
2022-04-24 0 By
Hi, I’m Wenwen’s dad. Has your kid ever told a lie?How do you teach children to lie?In Wen wen’s view, parents’ reactions and attitudes are very important in determining whether their children will continue to lie in the future.Daughter probably from 2 years old or so began, learned to lie, such as clearly stole to eat just bought back the cake, corners of the mouth and even cake slag……When I ask her what she ate, she tends to say, “I didn’t eat anything,” insisting that she didn’t, despite the “booty.”Even after entering kindergarten, daughters often say, I feel sick and I have a fever to avoid going to kindergarten.When I pretend I’m okay with her not going to kindergarten, she’s instantly alive.Wen Wen dad believes that many parents will have such experience, found that children lie……In the variety show “Incredible Mother 2”, there is a part about not opening the door to strangers, but He Jie’s son did.When his mother asked qibao if he had opened the door to strangers, qibao shook his head and said “no”.Knowing that her son was lying, He Jie did not expose him to her face. Instead, she gently comforted her, saying, “If you tell your mother the truth, she will not scold you.”After receiving his mother’s affirmation, Qibao admitted that he would not open the door to strangers again.Researchers at Brock University and the University of Toronto in Canada conducted a quiz on 65 two – and three-year-old children from different backgrounds and families.The children were told to find a book in a corner of the room and not to peek at the toys behind them.The researchers then asked the children if they peeked at the toy.A comparison of the surveillance videos showed that 80 percent of the children peeked at the toy behind them, and of those who peeked at the toy, about 40 percent lied.In other words, about half of all children are lying.The likelihood of lying increases with age, with about 30 percent of 2-year-olds telling lies.As many as 50 percent of 3-year-olds lie;Among four-year-olds, the rate can be as high as 80 percent or higher.Many parents find their children lying, often indiscriminately scold or beat children.This is actually very bad, especially whether the young children lie has nothing to do with honesty, character, and family education and growth environment has no absolute relationship.As psychologist Piaget said: children lie is a natural tendency, is a very common behavior, we can regard it as a part of children’s egocentric thinking.02, lie, is a required course for children to grow up once after dinner, my daughter said to me with a serious face: “Dad wearing a skirt is particularly nice”, I asked her curiously: “When did dad wear a skirt?””I came out of the shower wearing a dress!”Daughter naively answered, I immediately looked at the wife, in wen Wen dad: life, at least to be honest, not so “open eyes lie”.So the next day after school, I talked to their teacher, did not expect the teacher happily said: “Wow, wenwen children’s cognitive level has improved.”Looking at my bewildered look, the teacher explained that children before the age of five often confuse “reality” with “imagination” and are not lying as adults think.In the teacher’s opinion, children at this age “tell lies”, often because they have ideas in their hearts and have strong thinking ability. She must know that her father didn’t wear a skirt, but she covered it up by tone and expression, which are high-level cognitive abilities.KangLee, a psychology professor at the university of Toronto, said in a lecture that children watch adults’ reactions when they lie, and then use their brain to analyze and control their language and facial expressions in order to “justify themselves” and convince others.In this process, the child’s language expression ability, logical thinking ability will be greatly improved, and this ability, is every child will learn sooner or later.Therefore, it is not unreasonable to think that children who lie earlier are smarter.03, children lie, such guidance is more useful than beating and scolding Wenwen dad had seen such a hot question on the Internet: how do you learn to lie?”I made a mistake and my parents expected me to be honest. However, when I was honest, WHAT I got was not praise and performance from my parents, but a beating.See the user’s answer, Wen Wen dad is very agree with, when I was a child because of fun, didn’t go home after dark, was found by his father, asked why I don’t go home after dark?I was so scared that I said I was doing my homework at my classmate’s house and lost track of time.Obviously, the father didn’t believe me. He took the gold stick in his hand and scolded: Tell the truth!I was afraid of being beaten, so I told the truth. As a result, MY father beat me severely. Children who tell lies should be beaten more.From then on, I have such a consciousness: lie also want to be beaten, don’t lie also want to be beaten, it is better to lie, after all, not every lie will be exposed.Until now, this idea of “lying” still exists, every time I go out late, in the face of the wife’s query, I will also habitually lie.Therefore, when the child lies, the parents’ attitude is very important, will decide and influence whether the child will continue to lie in the future.So how can parents guide their children when they lie?First of all, parents should correct their attitude and dialectically treat their children “lying” for most young children, with the development of the brain and the improvement of cognitive ability, lying is a necessary phenomenon, has nothing to do with honesty or not, therefore, parents need not be “alarmed”.At this time parents to do is, do not label the child as “dishonest, lying”, to guide the child to say “lying” motivation, encourage it to tell the truth.There is a line in “Trickling Down” : Children lie when they tell the truth and adults don’t believe them.As a parent, don’t overdraw your child’s trust in you, and encourage them to tell the truth when they know they are lying.Daughter 4 years old, go out all kinds of lies, compare foot pain, leg pain, the purpose is to want to embrace.At this point I will say: “you said that the foot pain, do you want to let dad hug, but afraid of dad not hug?”She would nod, and I would say, “Daddy’s a little sad. You dare not tell me the truth. Next time, you can just tell daddy you want to hug me.”Secondly, flexible use of “reward”, “strengthen” the behavior of telling the truth this method is particularly effective for my daughter, when I find my daughter is telling the truth, I will praise her verbally, and then take her out to play or buy a gift, to strengthen her telling the truth behavior.After taking my daughter to the dentist, I banned her from eating candy, and when I caught her stealing lollipops, I encouraged her to say why, instead of criticizing her.When she admits it, I buy her a toy or a cake.Another study found that children aged 3 to 7 who were told stories about “honesty pays off” were more likely to increase truth-telling behavior than those who were told stories about “don’t lie.”In a word, when children lie, parents do not beat, dialectically look at children lying behavior is very important.Moreover, parents should also set a good example for their children. If parents are addicted to lying, it is a little difficult to want their children not to lie.Disclaimer: The picture comes from the network, has nothing to do with the content of this article, if infringement, please contact to delete.